Time To Tell
by laolurve
Summary: Something quick and rather fluffy/ a little angsty written in response to a 'someone finds out about Alex/Olivia' challenge.


**Author's Notes:**  
Continuing my quest to archive stuff here, a little bonus for today (well, some may not think of it as a bonus, lol). It's something quick and (rather)fluffy/(a little)angsty that was written in response to a 'someone finds out about Alex/Olivia' challenge in a different community.

**Time To Tell**

"Olivia, I'm not quite sure why this is so upsetting. I know you wanted and I know that that we agreed to keep it secret but it was bound to happen. Someone was bound to see us. So the person who saw us happened to be Cragen. It doesn't mean he *knows*." Alex tried to be understanding and keep her frustration at bay. And she bit her tongue when what she *really* wanted to ask was, "And who cares if he *does* know?"

"He's not stupid, Alex."

"No, he's not," the attorney agreed, "But he knows we're both workaholics and so there's no reason to think that he won't believe that we weren't just having a working dinner."

Olivia's response was silence.

Alex tried but Olivia wouldn't meet her gaze. Finally Alex sat down on the couch next to the sullen detective and used her fingers to reach under Olivia's chin and bring her face up, forcing her to finally look her in the eye. This conversation was not only a long time in coming but was inevitable. So she leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against Olivia's before pulling back and asking quietly, "Do you want to tell me why this is really bothering you so much? Is it really that bad that Cragen saw us eating dinner together?"

"He's my boss, Alex!" Olivia averted her eyes once again.

Alex again bit her tongue, keeping her voice calm and soothing, "And?"

Olivia didn't answer again.

"Do you think he's a homophobe?"

"No, not at all," Olivia was emphatic.

"Do you think he'll tell everyone? Start spreading rumors or," she smiled wryly, "I guess in this case, the truth?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, it wouldn't be like him to do that."

"Are you worried you'll lose your job? Or that I'll lose mine?"

Olivia didn't answer.

Alex knew she was getting close to the heart of the matter. "Are you afraid you'll lose me?

Olivia finally eyes shot up to meet Alex's. And in them Alex saw fear. Genuine fear.

Alex's heart melted, "Sweetie, why do you think you would lose me?"

Olivia looked away once again. "I don't," she asserted. "I don't," she repeated. "Not really. But... it's just that...," she struggled to figure out how to put into words what she was feeling. And when she finally did say something it was so quiet Alex had to struggle to hear it. "I've just never felt like I had so much to lose before."

Alex's heart melted all over again and she pulled Olivia into a tight hug and just held her, giving her time to get her thoughts together and silently encouraging her to continue. Finally Olivia did, "It's just that... never before have I wanted so badly to shout from the rooftops so everyone would know what I have and at the same time want to keep it a secret because I figure that if no one knows, no one can take it from me."

Alex held on that much tighter through Olivia's quiet explanation, understanding everything she was saying all too well. In many ways, she felt the same way. "I know, Liv, I know. But," she took a deep breath, "I'm tired of feeling scared all the time. Of worrying about it all the time. Of wondering when and if someone will find out and what they'll do. Of having to contain myself whenever I see you in the squad room and censor myself and make sure what I say and do can't be construed the wrong way. And," she pulled back so she could look at Olivia and smile as she said, "I'm finding it harder and harder to do that."

Olivia chuckled at Alex's last statement. She nodded, "I know. Me, too."

Alex let the moment linger before continuing. "I'm not saying we should tell anyone and everyone. But maybe a few people knowing would be nice. And maybe... maybe Cragen is actually a good place to start. What do you think?"

Olivia silently considered. She did agree with everything Alex said, she did. But that didn't mean she wasn't still scared. But she knew Alex was right. She knew it was time.

"So you'll talk to him tomorrow?" Alex questioned.

Olivia inhaled deeply and Alex could see that she was still nervous, but seemed to be ready. Olivia nodded, "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Alex smiled. "Good."

"Except..." Olivia trailed off.

When Olivia didn't continue, Alex prompted her. "Except what?"

Olivia looked into Alex's eyes and she saw not fear this time but confusion. "I'm not really sure what to tell him. Or how."

Alex thought for a second then said simply, "Just tell him the truth. Every last bit of it."

Olivia eyed Alex, a skeptical and sly smile starting to pull at her lips, "You think I should tell him that for the last three months I've been going home each night not to an empty apartment and Chinese takeout like he thinks but rather to a blond bombshell and to the best sex of my life?"

Alex couldn't help but laugh at that (as well as blush a little at the compliment), welcoming the levity. "Well, perhaps I wouldn't put it exactly that way."

Olivia chuckled a moment then sobered. "How about I just tell him that for the last three months..." Olivia struggled again to figure out how to say what she wanted to say, "How about I just tell him that I'm happy."

Alex's eyes brimmed with moisture at Olivia's statement and bit her lip. "I am, too," she whispered back after a moment.

Alex found herself this time pulled into a hug from Olivia. The attorney was nervous, too, as there was the real possibility of change, but they'd deal with that when it came. For now, she just wanted to be with Olivia and celebrate that. So she pulled back and stood up, holding both of Olivia's hands in hers. She started backing up, pulling Olivia from the couch and continuing towards the bedroom, "Now," she said with a smile, "About that 'best sex of your life part...'"

Olivia grinned and followed her. She'd worry about Cragen and everyone else later.


End file.
